« One day, you'll be great. » Her voice was ringing in me. Perhaps she's right. No, she's only nice. She has always given me some hope, but I was sure that I'll never do something of my life. I couldn't move. I can't still move. They come, and come again, always smiling. But I don't want their pitty. I'm not so different. I'm like everybody with my particularities. But in the world, everybody is different, no? Whatever the skin, whatever the country, whatever the religion, each one must be considerated only like a person. Each person has her own place. Nonetheless everybody knows that the world is unfair and the law of the strongest is always present. We live in the jungle. The urban jungle. Can we really survive? I survive since I was born, even if it's not everyday easy. But life is a fight of everyday. I have always been a cliabily for my parents, I was not like everybody, I was not “normal”. And nowadays, you must be normal to be accepted, everybody knows that. That's also why, several times during my short and not interesting life, I wanted to pass away, but she was always here. In front of her eyes, I was always. Throughout her eyes, I lived. Everyday I saw her. She made me dream. She simply helped me to forget the reality, a strong reality. She was all and I was nothing. Nevertheless, my biggest fear became real when I was not waiting for. Everyday she came at the same hour. But this morning, she didn't come...

I look in the mirror. There's nothing any more. Leave this reality. Go somewhere to be able to dream again. And again. Because something is gone. A need of escape. Escape all of that. All I never say. All I never show. All that, only in me. Always afraid of somehing. Afraid again and again. Nobody understand? Maybe. Maybe not. That's the free way. Stay there. Or not. Go everywhere. Fly away from all, far from that. Make my dreams real. I have no dreams any more.

Never mind.

C'est si facile de rêver. Encore un peu d'espoir. Ah non, tu as sans doute raison, il n'y en a plus. C'est dommage, la vie paraissait belle. Les espoirs s'envolent toujours mais ils nous oublient. J'ai juste besoin d'ouvrir les yeux. Non laisse moi rêver. Tout y est plus beau. Les étoiles y brillent toujours. Elles ne m'ont pas abandonné là-bas. On va la retrouver cette étoile. J'sais déja que tu vas m'aider. Tu m'aides déjà toi, tu sais. Pis on trouvera le moyen de le supprimer ce coeur. On trouvera le moyen d'oublier. Perdre. Et retrouver. Mais toujours garder le sourire. Et rire. Merci tu m'fais rire.
Pleurer aussi mais bon... Les mots sont touchants parfois. Et marquant, t'as raison. Pourquoi là, je m'adresse à toi?

"I'm losing my mind and I don't think it's clever..."

"Tu veux pas le prendre dans l'autre sens?   -Qui ça?"    [Hihi sacré toi.]

"Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling clementine thou art lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine."

[Because this film is so beautiful. And now, you know why.]

La folie m'atteint parfois. Enfin plutôt souvent. On va même jusqu'à me dire que j'suis déséquilibrée. Ah les angliscistes. En tout cas, un jour, promis, pour toi, j'aurais les cheveux bleus. Ce jour là, ton regard sur moi changera non? J'crois que si. Et pas que le tien d'ailleurs... La vie est courte après tout. Partons maintenant et voyageons. J'veux faire le tour du monde. Un jour, j'le ferais. Enfin j'espère.

"Dreaming my dreams...."

And they go over there... Not far away from you...

I just want to see you. [You and you too.] But you, just you, will I see you one day? No one can be forgotten, especially not you. Because some days, I just lost you, and others, I find you again... Because I need you, not only you but... No way. I can't.

I'm always afraid of being forgotten...

I have so many things to say but I don't know how...

Because tomorrow, I'm coming back.

Will I come back here? And when? I have lived so many things, they give so much...

All of that will be missing... It's something so different...

 - And Happy Birthday Cha! -

Soudainement elles te poursuivent.. Sans trop savoir vers ou aller, tu erres dans un chemin que, depuis longtemps, tu essayes de quitter. Tu t'en échappes pour mieux t'y écrouler? Pourquoi te laisses-tu toujours emporter dans cet abîme sans fin?

Parce qu'un jour j'y ai cru.

Ne laisse pas la colère t'envahir... Il est peut être déjà trop tard. N'oublie pas les dégats qu'elle cause. Dévorer de l'intérieur..